Every Movie Sucks: February 2011
by Reginald Bateson

I know what you’re thinking, “But Reggie! Its not February anymore! It’s March! Wah wah bibbity boo bah!” Well…

First of all, don’t call me “Reggie”. My first name is Reginald. And to you its Mr. Bateson, Esquire. Besides, I don’t call you Stupidface (At least not to your stupid face).

Secondly, any one week in February was too depresing for movies so I though I’d pool the best (suckiest) of the best (sucky) together and see what I got.

And here’s what I got:

I Am Number 4 - It’s like sitting through an hour and a half long high school class. Only suckier.

Unknown – I don’t know how or why this movie got made.

Cedar Rapids – Too bad they don’t sell ‘Movie Insurance’ because this movie crashes and burns.

The Adjustment Bureau - Apparently they can change anything to keep with ‘the plan’. So was ‘the plan’ for this movie to suck? Or was it fate?

Hall Pass – Hall Pass…? More like… I’ll Pass…! eh? eh?

Justin Beiber: Never Say Never – Never saw it.

Looks like March movies might prove to be a little better, but then again, even the March movies could Sucker Punch me with their suckiness.